Chronicles of a Ninja

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 06:00:39 GMT

I was once asked, why I sleep so late.
My response was, because in my dreams, is where I'm happy.

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 04:52:28 GMT

Nothing has really been up lately, but I feel I owe all of you who haven't removed me from your friend page yet a little update on what's been going on.

I've been working alot it seems. At the deli 6 days a week and starting next weekend the scream park as many days as Joe can I guess. Even today I had a 12pm-12am shift pretty much...
the scream park money does help though, because of it I haven't really had to use any from King Kullen..and it's been able to sit comfortably in my bank account.

My phone screen broke AGAIN, I swear I have trouble keeping a phone not broken. So I can't text message...I can still call and make calls though because a little part of the screen is still working so I know who I'm calling..and most of my friends who call often have their own ringtones.

Other than that not much else is new...still feeling kinda alone, because EVERYONE around me has their significant other even if they aren't going out..I don't know it hasn't been bothering me too much lately...it's all getting kinda old I guess, and no one has bought that wow factor to me in awhile (i guess cuz i'm surrounded by idiots) I don't know...this girl at my job has kinda been filling in that gap, even if she is engaged. Just having someone like her I can joke and pal around with and make laugh has been enough.

NYAF was great! There was sooo many great stories about that day...

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 03:36:10 GMT

I feel like I've been away for awhile..even though my last update was 4 days ago
Life I've gotta say hasn't been pretty boring...
but still..nothing is really going on either. Maybe I've come to accept this? I doubt it.
I'm extremely worn out right now, I don't really no why, I didn't have work at the deli today, but I did go to the scream park and stand around for a bit. It's still learning to crawl before it springs up and becomes crazy.
Tomorrow I have work at 8..which is pretty early for me...and unfortunately I won't get to work with neither Brendan or the cool new chick. Well I get to work with her for an hour. She is one of those people who can sort of fake being nice to someone even if she hates them (like she does to one of the new guys there) but I think me and her are getting along fine. We've been talking like we've known each other for years...which is not normal for me and anyone, I just met.

I reserved the game Wet and I played the demo (not all the way through) this seems like it's going to be a good use of $50, can't wait! Comes out Tuesday! =) also I think I'ma get a new psp next thursday, so Dissidia battles shall ensue!

While I was at the mall today, I noticed that Hot Topic has Heartless (you know from Kingdom Hearts) t-shirts, and at such a convenient time. The neo-heartless (as well as the regular baby heartless) like I'm being down bare the heartless symbol like the others do, however I feel like my idea will get across better if I do wear it. So I think I'ma buy that too! Yeah..good bye saving money lol.

Tomorrow will be my 1 year at King Kullen, lol. I can't believe it...I guess secretly that was another resolution I had held, and trust me at times I wanted to quit...but now that John has gotten himself fired, I have nothing to worry about. Working days and no john makes this kid happy. Still I can't believe it..other than having a job for consecutive summers...the longest job I've held was about 6 months..and I just doubled it.

I'm tired..I'm going to bed early tonight. Oh! an I want to apologize for not commenting that often lately. I usually read what you guys write, but don't really know what you're talking about..or what to say in my comment.

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 07:37:47 GMT

An old lady called me a "Young Superhero"...and all i was doing was cutting her deli meat.

The other day someone drove into the store....apparently it was a drunk Nun.

The kid I hate at work, is probably getting fired because he decided to write a note to our manager and stab it with a knife.....They took it as a threat.

There is two new girls being hired to the deli, everyone is excited..and asking me if i'm excited, I told them I don't care....they're probably not my type anyway. Them being female makes no difference in whether they're nice people or not.

I don't get people.

I've been drawing a lot lately...I can practically draw Vincent and Yuffie without looking at them. I usually draw FF7 yuffie, her costume is alot more fun to draw then her others...though i DO really like her Dirge of Cerberus costume...I draw Vincent's AC/DoC costume it's..different...subtle there.

The scream park starts next week....can't wait. I hope I make at least one more friend. lol

those are just a few things I wanted to let you guys in on...

"What do I do now that the smile is gone..."

Words aren't the only thing that tell people what you're thinking...

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 12:31:17 GMT

There's a 7am?

So last night, I ended up going to sleep early to make sure I was up in time for work. In return, I'm now up...at 7am..actually been up since 6am, but whatever. Work is at 10, and I really hate rushing.

Last night when I was going to sleep I was exhausted..I had trouble staying awake last night at work, so it wasn't a surprise i wanted to sleep when I got home. as I was falling asleep...(i'm 85% sure I dreamt this) I noticed this squirrel making it's way up my wall. I was too tired to scare it away, so I was just like fuck it. I don't know why, that's really probably something that if it was real I should have dealt with. lol

I was deleting facebook friends yesterday...I came up to my friend Joseline, who I haven't spoken to since she moved back to Texas. I miss her. I realized that now with all the emotions detached from her, she really did brighten my life while she was here. Despite not having the same feelings for me, she seemed to show them anyway, everyone around us thought we were a couple...and I can't exactly say I didn't enjoy hanging around with her. She may not have been perfect but I'm far from being flawless myself, maybe our friendship was better off that way. She was an odd one that girl, but I couldn't bring myself to delete her...

The screampark is starting back up, I'll be hanging out with my friend Joe and Brendan til like 2am again, in the freezing cold wondering why we're still out here when no one has come through the park in like over an hour. Nothing brings friends closer lol. If I look at the big picture, it was cool and I'm looking forward to it again.

School is starting soon, and even though I won't be going, I had planned on visiting there...especially since I need to clear up somethings. However working my new earlier shifts from like 12-5 i probably won't be able to do that much, at least until I have days off. It doesn't really matter, that place isn't really the best for hanging out at, I just like being around people...even if they do urk me.

Wooo, I just realized I'm getting out at 3:30 instead of 9:30

I was looking up quotes yesterday of Squall, because (like me) Vincent doesn't have much to say...and I realized...it's a even toss up between the two in who I'm more like. I mean, with Squall..we can tell what he's thinking (for some odd reason)...if we had that same ability with Vincent I'm sure, we'd get just as much out of him. Where is this all coming from? Well..I was on the line the other day going to buy something for my break at work..and the cashier started to talk to me. I was able to respond but I wasn't very good at carrying a conversation with her, frankly because I didn't know who she was (there are two new cashiers who IMO look exactly alike), instead all the things I should have said, were jumbling around in my head like a big game of scrabble, in addition a lady asked me yesterday where the eggs are, the night manager happened to be there..but I knew where they were...I just couldn't get the words out. Probably because I spend too much time thinking, and not enough saying. I think I'm more Vincent-esque though..not sure.

It's 8:00 now...my alarm just went off...kinda scared me, not gonna lie. (it's the boss battle music to FF7 lol)

Whoever invented roll over ads, is a jackass.

Square Enix, you need to make more figures. I want to add DoC Yuffie and Cowgirl Tifa to my collection lol

Okay I think I'm done...i'm also 95% convinced that there isn't a squirrel in my room.

I was humming this song at work. Beauty and the Beast is still my favorite, but I think this is a really good movie too.

"You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 06:18:03 GMT

Soooo.. I've been updating alot. Most of it meaning nothing because nothing really has been going on. Still. I have the urge to write.

Today I got my digi camera. When I got to Best Buy I decided not to go with the camera i looked up online because it didn't take up-close pictures very well..and it was more expensive because it had small minor features that I would barely use..or wasn't dying to have...like a .3 bigger screen. Most pictures I take, that aren't of people are really upclose pictures of figures I have, that I then later add to my Deviant Art page

http://jadekatana.deviantart.com/

I've been dying to do some better work but with the lack of changing environment, limits me some. I have some really interesting ones on there (most involving Yuffie, cuz she's my favorite and oh too willing to pose for the camera), I'll post a few here.

School's right around the corner..idk how to take that. It's going to start being busier on certain days of the week again at work (as it always is), but i'll also be able to go up to the school and finally see if i'm going to school in the winter and spring semester. I SUPPOSE i could have went before..but..it's not urgent. Can't wait to take creative writing..then hopefully i can blow through this major and actually get moving to a real college...I wanna get into New Paltz, I heard it's really good, however with the skills I have and the art i have that's actually presentable..I'll have kinda hard time getting in. I can draw..I can draw pretty well...but it's like an unpredictable time, I'm also very judgmental of my works,and I'll get halfway through and stop, because i hate it.

I think I had more to write, but i got sidetracked like I always do..so I'm going to end it with the pictures and this music thing a few of my friends on Facebook had done.

<--New camera picture!!
Crisis Core reference lol

I'm sure you can tell..but I drew this lol

Find more at my devA page!

Using only songs from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like. You can't use the artist I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My Life According to (ARTIST NAME)".

Pick Your Artist:
Nightwish

Are you male or female?
10th Man down

Describe yourself:
Dark Chest of Wonders

How Do You Feel:
Higher than Hope

Describe where you currently live:
Dead Gardens

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Over the Hills and Far Away

Your favorite form of transportation:
The Pharao Sails to Orion

Your best friend is:
Nemo

Your favorite color is:
Nightquest

What Is the Weather Like?
Planet Hell

Favorite Time Of Day:
Ever Dream

If your life was a T.V. show, what would it be called?
Slaying the Dreamer

What is life to you?
Passion and the Opera

Your relationship:
Romanticide

Your fear:
Dead to the World

What is the best advice you have to give?
Sacrament of Wilderness

If you could change your name, you would change it to
The Phantom of the Opera

Thought for the day:
She is my Sin

How I would like to die?
Ghost love Score

My soul's present condition:
Away

My Motto:
Feel for You

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 05:41:21 GMT

Hm...so I finally got Sandralinda (my wow character) a wolf mount. I've wanted one for awhile now =), now all that's left is to get Misachan her bow, and tame King Bangladesh and call it Rem =P..idk if i want two cats though...

IRL:

It's sooooo damn hot!!

I'm going to see if I can get my camera from bestbuy tomorrow if they don't have it..then I guess I'll just order it online and wait for them to send it to me.

My Doronjo figure should be coming in tomorrow!! Can't wait, another figure for my collection lol.

So I figured I'd go as a heartless to the con =)...so i gotta work on that, it won't be the traditional type of a but it'd be somewhat similar lol

Lately my thoughts have been everywhere. So I haven't been able to update normally like I usually do. Today this kid at my job who I dislike...apologized for being a douche to me at school, he said he associated me with my friends who he does not like. I didn't respond really. I gave a "oh" as a response, then he goes on to say...that "You're an okay guy" I give a half hearted thanks, I REALLY don't trust this kid...and on top of that, he wasn't a douche to me at school..infact we didn't really talk...he and his friend picked fights with my friends before they ever even spoke a word to him, so it's his fault they didn't get along. ALSO i didn't dislike him (other than the fact he annoyed my friends) until we started working together....he talked about being on anger management meds or something..which I guess should receive some sympathy, but he goes on to say he's just not a nice person. Idk I really couldn't give a crap..the kid isn't stupid.

yes..i AM flying

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 07:18:23 GMT

It's really hot..
I was bored so i did this meme

I really want to write something, but I don't know about what...

1.PICK OUT A SCAR YOU HAVE, AND EXPLAIN HOW YOU GOT IT?
I have a small one (hardly noticeable anymore) on my chin, from when i first learned to ride a bike without training wheels..quick lesson taught on breaks and turning lol

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Posters (movie,bands and anime/videogames), pictures, my dad's football jersey

3. WHAT DOES YOUR PHONE LOOK LIKE
it pushes up..and is red and black

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Rock (quite a few types), J-Rock and J-pop..whatever sounds good

5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
Final Fantasy AC it's a D.A. picture someone drew, was thinking of changing it to Misa Amane

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
..a special someone in my life..

7. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE?
Sure why not, it's hard to find love..so who are we to deny to people who do love each other.

8. WHAT TIME DID YOU GET UP THIS MORNING?
...i didn't get up this morning cuz i went to sleep at 5am lol

9. ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL TOGETHER?
Yes

10. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
"Over the Seas and Far away"-Night wish, Adult Swim is on in the background

11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
Depends..i don't like the feeling of uncertainty

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
i dunno..

13. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
It doesn't matter

14. DO YOU LIKE PAINKILLERS?
if i'm in pain...i guess. idk, what a weird question

15. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
out of these two? Energy drinks i guess..

17. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Not really hungry..

18. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
uh..i'm sure you guys know who...

19. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
Not fluently, but i did take spanish, so i can get an idea of what most people say

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST GIFT SOMEONE GAVE YOU?
My mom gave me a stuffed bunny..

21. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
..eh..not that I'm aware of...

22. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
Nope

23. FAVOURITE FRIEND?
I have a bunch...it also depends on what mood i'm in who I favor hanging out with. I think me and Joe get along the best though..

24. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
I was never a big fan of cars, but I went to a dealership one day and saw a Ford GT 2005? and thought it was awesome, so i'ma go with that one...

25. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTER-LIFE?
Not in your traditional sense...

26. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MARRIAGE?
I think it's nice, but way to glamorized..but then again I'm a guy. It's not my special day.

27. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Yeah, I mean..you can't help what you feel.

28. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
I like notes..

29. Say a number from 1-100.
12

30. BLONDE OR BRUNETTE?
Brunette

31. WHAT IS THE ONE PHONE NUMBER THAT SHOWS UP ON YOUR PHONE THE MOST?
Joe and my mom lol

32. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
The average person, you know..the jerks, the assholes the douchebags, who sit on their throne and think the world should bow to their awesomeness. I call them the average person because I tend to meet alot of these people..and maybe 2/30 people aren't like this...so it's a good portion of the populations.

33. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR BIRTH COUNTRY?
Nop

34. YOUR WEAKNESS?
uh..my insecurities?

35. WHAT WAS THE LAST GIFT YOU GAVE?
I'm always spending money on people...

36. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE HOLIDAY?
Christmas! I love giving gifts, and having to figure what someone wants that they haven't gotten themselves already. Or halloween, cuz it's like a national cosplay day lol

37. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Yep

38. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE THIS?
Playing Wow

39. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I'm fine...thanks

40. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLEMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My uniqueness, everyone apparently can spot me out of a crowd..

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
sit back and watch the chaos that would redoubtably ensue

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
it doesn't matter =)

45. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nop

46. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
If i'm in a good mood..

48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVOURITE?
I need them all..they help me draw..play videogames and type..they are ESSENTIAL

49. WHAT UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING?
...

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes, apparently alot of people say it's neat for a guy

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE VEGETABLE?
Carrots (uncooked) Corn (cooked)

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
A few

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
I have Christina Aguleria and SpiceGirls somewhere..my friend Chrissy was giving them away along with others..and I was like..hmm, there was a time when I liked them. That time has llooonng gone.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Depends. I would try..depends if I liked the "new me"

55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
No, still have ones from like 3rd grade..

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
To a small degree. (i agree)

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?
LJ or playing videogames...

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
I guess Frank's

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
I usually don't have to wonder..my intuition usually gives me a accurate reading in the first few seconds, so if they pass that then yeah.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE TOY WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE?
Probably my stuff'd Buster Bunny

61. ARE YOU AFRAID OF GROWING UP?
No and yes, I'm afraid of having to depend on a job, and not being able to have a daily social life..it depends on how it goes...

62. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Yar

64. DOES 11:11 MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
Nope..though i know some of my friends having some meaning to it..i think it's some stoner thing..

66. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?
Sure, my mom never stops talking to me..and me and my dad are on good terms, but usually don't have TOO much to talk about

67. WHAT IS THE MOST PAIN YOU HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED?
an ear pain i had..in 11th grade.

68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
lol, nope..

69. LAST THING YOU SPILLED?
idk..

70. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
Yea a puppy-kin

71. WHAT IS THE LAST FURRY THING YOU TOUCHED?
that bunny i was talking about earlier..the one my mom got me

72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE COLORS?
Red, Green, Black and White

73. WHATS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?
I was reading this book called "Stray Dog"

74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
I don't know for sure, I think they pulled them all out...i'm pretty sure they did...

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
suuure...lol whatever

76. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM VACATION?
I wanna go to Hawaii, Italy or Japan

77. LAST THING YOU ATE/DRANK?
Snapple Mango and Mandarin oranges..

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Mom

79. WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Their eyes or hair

80. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
...uh. IT COULD be possible...but the chances of it being mutual..is low

81. FAVOURITE THING TO HATE?
there are quite a few things i hate, worthy of being hated..but they end up zeroing on one thing..

82. FAVOURITE DRINK?
Idk Snapple is pretty good, Fuze is too..probably because my job has pretty much been having them on sale and since we get no discounts it's all i buy lol

83. ZODIAC SIGN?
Aries!! wooooo

84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT?
I like to play floor hockey, but i can't watch any...

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOUR?
It's black

86. EYE COLOUR?
Brown.

87. TALL OR SHORT?
In the middle.

88. SIBLINGS?
two sisters

89. FAVOURITE MONTH?
April..and probably october or december..

90 DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Yes.

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
Family guy, is on right now..

92. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Halloween or Christmas

93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
eventually i will..if i feel like it's worth the shot..

94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter..=)

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
relationships

97. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
someone who's bored..

98. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Dr. Seuss

99. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Not that i know of..

100. BIGGEST FEAR(S)
Being alone forever,drowning,failing to achieve my dreams..

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 20:55:12 GMT

Random thoughts before work:

Feeling better than I was the day before
I really wanna see YattaMan (Yatterman) it seems interesting, alas I do not know Japanese
Anime New York is coming up...wanna help me choose what to be?
1. A team Rocket memeber (the black and red costumes and may do some creative changes)
2. A "Tripped out Heartless" like I saw on Deviant Art (you can most likely find it under that name)
(open to other suggestions too..though i guess i'd have to list animes I watch....)

it's Sept 25..so i have a little time, but not much...soooooo i dunno. I wanted to do Demon Kimimaro but I don't know how to make the bones for his back, but that would work so well =)

Apparently I got written up (or am going to be) for standing around doing nothing last night during closing...I'm going to shut them up. I really hate their bullshit...they want us open to 10...so i figured we would do everything around 10..since it's just going to continue to get messy. I need a new job...I thought of trying the post office or train stewart...riding on a train as a job seems like it'd be fun

"Train Train Take us away
Take us away Far away
Into the future We will go
Where it leads
No one knows"

No camera yet...kinda made peace with that fact.

I bought a : Miss Doronjo (from Yattaman) figure, from the life action Yattaman movie (now that other note seems pointless)

and I'm currently bidding on 30 "Runaways" comics on ebay..for $30...plus like $4 shipping...comics are usually $3 so that's easily...$90...good deal. The "Runaways" is an AWESOME series..and I can't wait til the movie comes out, whenever that'll be. They better cast a pretty decent looking Asian chick to play Nico Minoru (aka Sister Grimm, which fans seem to like more)..to be honest..i don't even know if she IS Asian..the art style kinda dictates that though.

hooray for impulse buying...now off to work

p.s. I <3 my Yuffie i-con...i use it often if you haven't noticed.

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 07:34:57 GMT

....my heart has no place......no where to call a home..

The entry below for some reason made me feel better...let me tell you about my day thus far.
I went to work...I had to work with this kid..I hate him. Hate isn't even a strong enough word for what I feel for this kid. My manager knows I hate him, and that we don't get along..he knows this..and yet the fat fuck schedules us both til closing. At least when he's there til 8, I have someone else with me. So that puts me in a bad mood...then my friend cancels on me with plans...so I call up my friend Joe and he's going to see District 9 with the rest of the people...I had no interest in the movie, but I felt like...maybe since it's a movie about aliens and shit..it would be interesting. Of course I knew he'd be there...and I knew she'd probably be there too...as my suspicions, I was right. She says hi to me...I tell her to "shut up"...harsh..but it's who I am, it's how I cope. One of my biggest pet peeves has to be not realizing what you have done wrong..anyway...we are in the movie...and I was trying to be positive through the first 30 mins of boredom and shit...but NO I HATED THAT MOVIE...i couldn't wait till it was over. Everyone else seemed to have liked it though....congrats to them...I'll never see it again, not even if I was paid.

ugh now i'm back to being angry...but i'm also passing out from tiredness. Maybe I'll be happier tomorrow...but i doubt it.

When I get like this..I usually think of one of two people.
One of them was named Chrissy.
I don't have much in life I regret..we make mistakes..it's natural
however..I totally fucked over my one chance to be happy...
back in summer 2005 I technically had a gf before Karina (idk if you guys even know about her)
her name was Chrissy...our relationship was short
see..I had started talking to Chrissy..I had grown fond of her..but I never hinted that I liked her as more than a friend.
Then Karina comes into the picture...she has a very flirty attitude and I made a real connection with her..she drags me along for the ride and I eventually tell her I like her. She never says no, but never said yes. So once again, I'm being dragged along.
Me and Chrissy talked religiously everyday...i mention Karina to her many of times..never did she ever say anything bad about her.
Days pass...Karina now calls me every now and then...she always seemed to put her friends on after awhile though (she was a weird girl)..one day..maybe the same week infact...Chrissy IMs me...the conversation goes like normal....then I think Chrissy askes me what I think about her...I tell her what I thought about her...she then replies..with a response I didn't exactly expect. She told me how much she liked me...this must have been on her mind for awhile, because what she told me I'll never forget..no one ever held feelings for me so strong..so sure.
However Chrissy lived near the north shore of long island, and at the time I had no idea how to get there..or anything..it might as well have been Guatemala. She then gave me the choice, go out with her...or Karina..who lived a few blocks away. I thought about it, unsure..but I choose her (cuz it was the right choice)
I wrote about it on Xanga (remember that site lol)..I guess it really bothered Chrissy..she replied something like..."are you sure you wanted to choose me.."...she eventually let it get the best of her..and said that I couldn't decide and that she wasn't going to go through with it if I had any uncertainties...she said she had to stop talking to me...to forget about me...I tried to convince her that it was really her I liked...but she didn't want to hear it...
Later...sometime down the line....like always Karina called...and put her friend on the phone. Her friend asked me if I was Karina's boyfriend...I said "I don't know ask her"...and Karina replies "yeah"..so it was somewhat confirmed...I guess I was happy...
The relationship lasted 2 months..if you wanna call it a relationship (i guess you would have to..)..I hung out with her twice..once some random day...I walked with her and her sister to the store...and we talked..and then again..on halloween (i remember cuz my friends was pissed I was late, but they dealt...they had to)..she always spoke about how she had to babysit...so I always told her to bring them with her to the park..which she did that day..around christmas..she called...saying something about how we don't see each other enough..and that it was like we were just friends..and that she didn't want to hurt me..in short...we broke up. She two days later was going out with someone else...and it's my optimism thinking it was two days AFTER we broke up...
I never forgave myself though...Chrissy was always on my mind...I tried IMing her once a few years later...all she had to say was "Wow I haven't heard from you in a long time.." then she wouldn't respond. I can only hope where ever she is she's happy...

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 06:26:59 GMT

So my suspicions were correct.
Though the words. "I like her" hasn't come out of his mouth.
My friend was highly upset (though he didn't say so, but you KNEW) that we came over his house, when the girl I was crushing, I guess, was coming over to hang out with him. Even though she invited us to go over...and hang with him. He knew I had liked her (had is a past tense..but to his knowledge it should still be current) but that didn't stop him. On top of that...he so-called has a girlfriend. This isn't the first nor is it probably going to be the last time this will happen...I am NEVER going to bring anyone I'm currently interested in around him. No, I'm not disappointed at him, I just come to realize...what type of person he really is and I'm not going to look through rose colored glasses anymore. Optimism in this situation is pointless. He's a good guy...however he thinks too much with his cock to even realize when he's acting for his own accord..and not as a friend should.

*sigh*

still..there I don't really think I'm mad at him, or her. I realize I was fighting a pointless battle and backed out before I go hurt emotionally. So..i guess..that's it.

also: Taokaka and Noel for the win!!

NO LJ CUT FOR YOU!

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 07:40:27 GMT

Jay's Random thoughts.

Someone today made me feel really nice. I usually feel meh, about my looks because even though i'm "nicer" for the most part out of the guys I hang out with I tend to get the "buddy" ranking. My friend who I had a crush on a few years back ended out going out with one of my best friends (some of you may remember this lj entry..yeah i doubt it) and when they broke up she came to me at work to talk about it. Me and her are still pretty close and she always IMs me when she's drunk..but yeah they usually catch the eyes and are often more appealing while I always end up the 7th wheel, or sometimes higher. However, I went to my friends Job today (friend having nothing to do with it, other than the fact that maybe that's why I go there) and I ordered pizza, then this girl comes up and asks if I'm being helped..I say yes, and she asks me what I ordered..our conversation starts (short) and her whole attitude and way of speaking seems to point out she may have been hitting on me. She asks me if I was the friend of the girl who job it was, and I answer yea. She doesn't say anything after that (no reason to believe that being my friend's friend was a bad thing)..but even so it was kind of an..interesting experience

Anywho...later at work.

So I told my friend that the mem card I have doesn't fit in the camera he gave me, so he bought in his today. He gives it to me for $10...which wasn't bad seeing as how it's a $40 mem card. However the card doesn't really click into the camera and I kinda have to close the back of the camera on it to get the pictures to show up, on top of that the cable he gave me doesn't fit the camera. I had a camera of the same company and it didn't give me this much hassle! I lost that camera (bad luck with them I know), so I still have the cable..it fits. but doesn't work..leaving me saying wtf. *bangs head against palm of hand* part of me wants to give the camera back...get my money..go with plan A. However...the camera DOES take alright pictures when it wants...and I did get it for quite a bit cheaper than my original "new camera". However his camera also uses Batteries. Idk i kinda wanna be like hey look...your camera is giving me many problems...I rather just buy the one i saw online. However..I guess idk..knowing the money kinda helped him...ugh..we'll see (I'll keep you guys posted)

Now for the really randomness.

Sometimes I feel like I have a totally functional other person in my head lol. Not in the crazy kind of way, it's just sometimes I feel like I give myself advice and then don't take it. Like..last night I'm playing WoW, and I'm in Dalaran..my computer handles Dalaran a little better now, but it's still a pain in the ass to load the game in Dalaran, so I'm just like.
Brain: Jay don't log out in Dalaran, you'll have a difficult time loading when you log in..
Jay: True..uh..maybe I'll take the flight path somewhere...
Brain: Okay...hurry though..you're getting tired...
Jay: Yeah...*esc>Exit game>exit now*
Brain & Jay: Oh god damnit...

We were playing Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time..Ninja turtles are the shit..*random fact* I use to look down sewer drains to see if I could find them *sewer holes in like parking lot ones*, when I was like 5..and Santa and the easter bunny both gave gifts..ah youth.

So I get mail today...now we always get other people mail. Infact last like saturday? no...sometime later. Whatever. A package came for someone who "supposedly" lives here. Now my grandma lived here..for most of my dad's life..I believe..so that's like 40 some-odd years. Yet people we don't know claim to have lived here...whatever. I get a package that says Jason on it..I see the name..and I immediately go to think...can't be anyone here. Something I guess (intuition?)told me to check who it was from. Turns out it was for me..it was from the Mondondi.com people who sell the little emote pins I have on my hat. So I would have returned it thinking it wasn't for me when it was for me all along.

I think that's pretty much on the ranting..It's 3:30...I'm thirsty...and I need to be up by 8. GOD I hate my job...only my genius of a manager (excuse me sub-manager because our ACTUAL , as much as he may think he is, is really nice and considerate) would schedule someone for night shift AND morning shift..you know..night shift one day..morning the next. GIVEN, I only need to wake up at 8 because I have to walk...to the train, jump on that..and then walk more..all in all it's about a hour trip...I just dilly dally...hate waking up...and if I miss one train...It's 30 mins til the next...sooooooo better safe than sorry.

Yeah..I said it. Dilly Dally.

Why am I still up??????

Oh!...and I also have to tell you guys the story of Chrissy one day...

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 05:29:20 GMT

Okay first off..I wanna say. I love this I-con! lol I made it earlier when looking for Team Rocket pictures..because I was bored, and because I think they're cool. Everyone has their opinions of them, but they were always cool in my book.

Anywho...I got me a new camera today..I bought it from this kid at my job for 55$$, it's alright it takes alright pictures. The only problem i have is that when i try to take pictures of anything upclose or small (IE Figures) they come out blurry. SAD, because my D.A. has all sorts of Figure pictures on it, I guess I'm just going to have to practice taking the pictures, and outside light should work better than my lamp. Also another "inconvience" Idk so much as if it's a problem, but...my SD card doesn't fit in it, so I have to buy a new one. Still the camera I WAS going to buy was $160?..so I saved some.

Idk I feel all creative now, i need to go test it out soon.

Alright..I guess that's all i had to say...

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 10:00:34 GMT

ughh..why is it when I feel like I can remove things from thought, they're forced back into view. *bangs head on laptop* and I'm too stupid (ha) to realize the better choice, and all this is a huge diversion from what I my true desires are.....whatever maybe I'll feel better about this in the morning..oohhh wait! It IS morning.. -_-;;

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 07:15:25 GMT

Soooo...

The 2nd half of Inuyasha is coming to the anime world!! Wooooo =) now I need to catch up on it.
I bought 2 Box sets very cheap on Ebay so I can watch them all one day (okay seeing that it's 54 episodes it may not be 1 day)...but I'm excited. I heard it ended kinda crappy, but I mean..the fact that it ended is kinda blah. Endings always usually means you won't see these characters in new adventures. *is still waiting for a FFVIII sequel*

Remember back in 2008, or maybe Jan 1st of 2009, I made a resolution to get my drivers license? Well I plan on going to the DMV friday, when I have off from work. I don't know..I mean, I guess I should want to learn to drive, but getting out there and actually doing it is kind of scary. Ah well..I'ma try anyway.

My Camera is broken! Correction...the screen in which I can preview and do most of the functions is broken! I am not happy about this, since I use my camera for everything!! It still takes pictures and videos, though I won't know which...so I don't know I guess I can still use it, but if I can find the box, I might still be under warranty, I don't think it's too late, haven't had it a year yet...

SOoo also, I got a refund check from the college. it was for like $79..which was confusing because I owe them like $700, i don't know if I mentioned this before, but I hated my major and stopped going to my last class, teacher dropped me out and since it was the only class I took, I had nothing to keep my financial aid going, so pretty much I have to pay tuition and the price of the class. SO..we come to the question. "Where did they find $79 to give me?"

Ah, my friend Joe has such cool co-workers. My co-workers are alright, but since they keep us closed up behind the deli counter, and they snarl at us every time we leave, I never get to see anyone else, the other deli workers are alright. I really only talk to a few, one which includes my best friend Brendan, sucks, they seem to have sooo much fun too =P. Speaking of jobs, scream park is coming up. Some of you *cough*brittany*cough* know how that was, but despite how terrible it was "some" of the time (at least for me), some of the time it was fun, and I got to hang out with my other best friend Joe like everyday lol which was always cool. Sooo I'm going back, the money will also help with Saving...since I tend to spend my King Kullen checks before I realize it..

So I was thinking about getting a new psp and Dissidia. I have the japanese Dissidia, and it's reallly fun game, but I also feel like I'd love to know what they were talking about, I also would like to play the game with a better knowledge of how. Also my psp's analog is broken..which gives me all sorts of problems with the game. So Gamestop is having a bundle with Dissidia and a psp for $200..I might have to get it. The psp Go is coming out apparently in October but since it doesn't use UMV's or whatever they're called it seems pointless. plus I won't be able to mod it and get ff7 on to it. soooooooooooo i'm probably gonna pass on that.

Kk, that's pretty much it. I'm yawning over here...soooo night.

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 05:16:33 GMT

The party was fun...so thanks guys for telling me to go.

my mind's in a million different places right now, so I think I'm going to end it there.

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 05:27:19 GMT

So I guess I'm over my pretty bad mood that I was in. I mean...there's alot to explain..but I don't want to..I want to forget about it. I've been able to smile again..and it's really what matters.

So there's a party saturday..my friends expect me to go. I told my friend Joe and Derek I didn't want to go. They want me to go because they think I'll have fun. Truth is..I might. I just think she'll be there..and I don't want things to be complicated. Here I go again, over thinking, things should be fine right....of course...I think I need to hurry up and finish nassau so i can go to an away college. I've been thinking about New Paltz. It's still close enough to come visit, but far enough that I can dorm. I've never actually though about if I could dorm with people until the Disney interview. I mean..I'm not very open..but I guess as long as my room-mate has some sort of personality I could get along with them.

On another note entirely. I got the last two Inuyasha movies, I watched the first one before I went to work. It was pretty good (though I seen it before) Idk, I though I didn't like it too much before...but idk it was fine. Infact, might have been better than fine. Lotsa Kikyo is a plus!

I lost my mouse...so I can't play WoW til I find it. Hohum.

This demon..has a human heart...

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 08:01:32 GMT

Everytime I try to open myself to someone..I always lose out. Either someone else will step in..or I'll just get denied. It's hard to feel as if you're the same as everyone else, when there's such a distinguishable difference in the way you're treated. "What's wrong with him?" The whispers say."Why is he different than the others?" They'll never understand me... ------------------------------------------------------ Every time I feel like this, I remember her face. Kikyo. The girl of my dreams.. Never did she judge me..and she made me want to be a better person. Kagome doesn't seem to understand this.. Things may not have turn out the way I hoped, but when I'm with her..I feel right. I realize that things aren't going to work out...but I can't help but yearn for her embrace once more --------------------------------------------------------------- I feel like everytime things are going good between me and Kagome...Koga pops in... I get jealous and totally irratate Kagome. but seriously!! Is it my fault that I like her..and that he knowing this (or at least having some clue) trys to steal her away. In the end..it's usually him over me..and I'm the one eating dirt when she yells "Osuwari!" or "Sit"

I've been on a inuyasha binge lately...

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 07:38:42 GMT

So with Otakon only a few days away, I'm just holding my breath and going with the flow of time. At work this kid John was pissing me off because everyday he there from when i get in til 8, and he sits in the back and does nothing, he "claims" to be cleaning the back and he usually does the chicken oven an puts chickens on spits (the chicken sticks) and idk it's all stuff that could be done within a hour or maybe 2 if you're slow, but no he takes the entire 3 hours usually to do it...so I was fed up..and my customers though not necessarily innocent themselves got the butt of it.

it was only a matter of time though, letting them say whatever they want to us...acting like we are devices for them to use. It was busy all day, me and the guy working with me had to cut pretty much all day without break, and since they do not want us to stay later than we're suppose to, we close earlier, not very early either. We usually stop cutting at 9:30...and today we stopped at like 9:20. This one guy who came after 9:30 last week came up to us today at like 9:25..9:27pm or something, and the kid (corey) working with me was like "we're closed".
The guy flat out said. "No you're not." he was telling us about how we said we were open til 9:30...so here he is, before 9:30. Corey tried calmly saying how we were closed, but the guy wasn't backing down. So I come in and I'm like "Well complain to our fat ass manager." The guy looks at me and is "like what did you say?" I repeated it. The guy goes on to complain about how "we're doing it wrong" and I'm like "Doing what wrong?" he's like.."the guys that were here before, I know one got fired use to be open til 9:45" so I go "Sir we were open ALL day..you knew we closed at 9:30 why didn't you come earlier" the guy then goes "I don't care when you're open!!" and I immediately reply "and I don't care when we close!!" which must have really stuck in him..because he didn't say anything after that and just huffed and walked away. I'm tired of dealing with stupid people, you won't believe how many of these bastards come to the deli, knowing they'll have to wait on a line..and then complain we're going to slow and that they have to pickup their kid from the bus. I seriously don't get that.

Wantagh breeds stupidity by the dozens..

I need to hurry and finish school so I can start trying to get a "meaningful" job, and maybe one that will be more rewarding.
...........then again I can always fight fire.

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:56:52 GMT

I've written and idea down and deleted it like 10 to 15 times for the past hour...I've got nothing...and everything to write about. But I can't seem to make sense of it..
it's 5:59AM now...

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:01:53 GMT

My PC had it's second heart attack today. I don't really know why, I hope it's not gonna die. The first time it happened I was going to play Wow after like a few weeks without playing it, so that computer hadn't been turned on at all. So something told me to turn it on before applying my gamecard to my account. It didn't respond. Last time that had happened, my computer was like dead and my cousin replaced the power supply. So I was hoping, and didn't really think it should have been that. After a few, unnecessary (it seems) pulling out of the plug and putting it back in, it turned on. No problems for a few days. Then today, sign on wow and then..BAM it turns off..and is beeping at me. I don't know what beeping means. So i unplug it just to shut it up. Plug it back in...beeping continues. It happened for about 10 mins then I just unplugged everything. When i replugged everything after cleaning the area my computer was at (just cuz there was dvds and cables and stuff everywhere and it had been annoying me) it started working. I don't know why it's acting weird, it's gets enough attention..my poor laptop should be the one crying, but i don't wish that on it.

So I'm in the car yesterday....now I don't know if i said this before but i'm guessing i did. My doctor has me taking these pills to replenish the vitamin D in my blood since my blood work showed that I lacked pretty much any. now I'm in the car and there's a talkshow on the radio on some random channel no one knew about. Talking about Vitamin D..weird i know. Now lately i've been able to wake up at 10ish without no problem, i've been more energetic, and i guess in a slightly better mood. The guy on the radio said that they did a test where they deprived students of Vitamin D, and when they replaced it they realized a elevation in their mood. Which is what I myself had been wondering if it was the vitamins. I guess it was.

My Vincent costume arrived ^__^ it's cool. If i had made it i'd do a few changes like making the muffler a little bigger and longer to cover more of my face, and it's cape..is..odd, but I guess his cape is odd. I plan on adding some more fabric to it to hopefully extend it, buuuuttt idk. Anyway once i get the wig i'll be good. The costume came with a gold claw too, it looks really stupid...however i guess if for some reason i don't get anything done by then i have it, and all of it's cheaply fashioned glory lol. Hopefully i'll like the costume when it's done, it didn't look too bad when i tried it on to see if it fit, soooooo idk. I always get self-conscious when i cosplay. Anyway the claw probably won't look the way i expected for this con but the others it will..hopefully. I just don't want to spend the 50$$-60$$ with the con so close.

It's been getting hotter and hotter. I hate summer. Bugs, the heat..what's to like? I'm not to big on beaches either, sand's not my friend.

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 06:01:16 GMT

I don't have time to doubt myself.

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:17:26 GMT

Post a list of up to 20 books/movies/anime/TV shows/video games/bands etc. that you've had an obsessive fannish love or interest in at some time in your life.
Have your f-list guess your favorite character/member from each item.

1.Inuyasha - Kikyo kitsune_no_sora
2. Final Fantasy- Yuffie Kisaragi kitsune_no_sora
3. Death Note- Misa Amane kitsune_no_sora
4. X-men- Rogue kitsune_no_sora
kitsune_no_sora
5. Naruto
6. Gurren Lagann- Yoko kitsune_no_sora
7. Black Lagoon (the anime)- Revy kitsune_no_sora
8. The Tsviets- Rosso the Crimson -kitsune_no_sora
9. Soul Calibur- Cassandra kitsune_no_sora
10. Runaways (the comic)
11. Dead or Alive
12. Organization XIII- Larxene kitsune_no_sora
13. .hack//infection- Gardenia kitsune_no_sora
14. Evangelion- Asuka kitsune_no_sora
15. Legend of Zelda- Zelda kitsune_no_sora
16. Tenchu
17. Rurouni Kenshin- Misao kitsune_no_sora
18. The Perfect Score
19. Super Smash Brothers
20. Disgaea

way to go sam...way to SUCK the fun outta this for everyone else =P

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 06:10:28 GMT

I just re-drew Kenu and Shigatsu's clothing, for there past and future selves. It really made me want to get back into writing their story. I also drew a pretty "crazy" looking Azurelle...still i think my other picture of Rena is my favorite..it's just awesome. They'll as well as some other art will be up on my deviantart most likely tomorrow.

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 07:26:41 GMT

So I FINALLY saw it. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. It was pretty cool. It definitely didn't have the awesomeness of the other two..(well maybe) but it was really good. It had to put in alot of story and info about stuff so I guess it might have been a little too much in a 1hr 30mins, still it was worth seeing, and I paid $10 for it from Target, so now i own it. I'm gonna one day watch all 3..and see if the story makes more sense. Right now i'm slightly confused..but not really. I wonder if they're gonna make a new one..if I remember correctly there should be 3 coffins...1 held Victor, 1 held Markus..so there should be a 3rd one. *shrug* Rise of the Lycans also takes place in the past because they use swords and arrows and horses. There was no technological stuff, leaving me to believe what i said earlier. I don't think they're gonna explain anymore about Selene's past...unless they do it in the next one.

in short: UNDERWORLD IS AWESOME XD</text>

kk,so...that's pretty much it.

oh wait no.

I beat Resident Evil 4 today, the game wasn't really scary,(i guess if i played it with the lights off it would be), except the Re-generators . They bug me the fuck out. There was also one other pretty creepy part. You open up a garbage can..and there's a bag in it (duffle size). and IT starts wiggling (for a good 3 mins)...and then stops. Even the character asks "what the hell was that"...and the worse part is. You never find out.