So it's been awhile since I wrote something (though technically that isn't entirely true), so I guess I'll play a little catch up. Which comes down to this, I got fired from King Kullen, techincally I haven't worked since Jan 31st but I officially heard the words "not hiring you back" on like march 3rd or something. It was all a bunch of bullshit, I got suspended for accidentally charging someone  $3.99 for a sandwich that was suppose to cost them $4.99. So it came out to be a dollar that I got fired for. I told them it was a mistake and that I was hurrying trying to help the line of customers that was there, the prices had recently gone up at work and I was just double checking to see how much the sandwiches were, but they didn't want to hear it...they said that I should have known the price of a sandwich and that I've been there long enough that I shouldn't have to ask. It got dragged on for the entire month of February and then sometime in March I got a call from the union saying "unfortunately King Kullen isn't taking you back" the bastards at King Kullen didn't even have the nerve to call me up themselves and I still haven't (not that I'm expecting to) recieved anything saying that I am fired, chances are they were persistant on firing me because I made time and a half on sundays and was paid more than most of the other newer part-timers there..so they saved money if they got rid of me. So I've been at home for about a month and a half now, and it's starting to get really boring, the first couple of days was cool because I could sleep in and what not, but now it's boring. I applied to Nassau county parks and I'll know if I'll get a job with them by April hopefully, that'll be a seasonal but long lasting job hopefully, and I get to work with Joe and it pays more. So overall it's better than King Kulllen to some extent. I also applied to Gamestop, who aren't hiring at the moment, but I have two people I know there who will push my application when they do start hiring, so hopefully I can get a job through there. I'd REALLY like that, it wouldn't pay as much as the parks though, but for A.C. and a cool ass job like working in a game store, I think I wouldn't mind it at all. So I'm hoping one of those will come through for me.

Although the main group of people I usually go with to Anime Boston aren't going this year, I still am. I'm really excited about it! I've been trying to fix up my Black Mage costume, based on the Final Fantasy look, I couldn't find a jacket and I wasn't a fan of the straight blue "snuggie" look lol, so I went a little variant of both, I couldn't find striped pants like I needed, I have some that work alright, but I really wish I could have the big striped pirate pants, but they don't really have anything I liked. Still I can't wait, Anime Boston definitely is one of my favorite cons, Otakon kinda is meh, and we don't go to I-con anymore, because it sucks hardcore. Anime Next was pretty cool though mhm.

That's pretty much it for now.

So, finally I have another addiction that isn't either Final Fantasy or Inuyasha, and that would be "Scott Pilgrim" I've been reading the books, and I gotta say, it's amazing. So much fun to read that i've pretty much finished all 6 books in a week, but I've only really been reading them at work. I have to say Kim Pine and me kind of have the same personality lol, though I guess she's a tad bit more straight forward with some of the things that she says lol. Still. It's cool.

normal life has been kind of boring, but I'm planning on applying to some schools soon, I need to break this dull going to work or sitting at home routine that has become my everyday life. I also need to save money to get a car, I haven't gotten my license but I've gotten past that awkward worry I've been semi-dealing with. Not exactly sure what brought it about anyway. So it's just a matter of time before that happens.

Other than that not much is going on. God..."If your life had a face, I'd punch it....in the face"

I've been completely working waaayyyyy toooo much lately, the money will definitely boost my savings since i am kinda broke after Otakon...still 48 hours this week, including sunday. T_T

not even hanging out tonight like i said i would X_x

I'm so amped! Scott Pilgrim was amazing!! I saw it thursday/friday night at the midnight release and all day today it was on my mind. It makes me want to write again though..to get to that level. The art style for the comic wasn't amazing and yet it's originality and storyline made it  as popular as it is, and now with the movie (because I for one haven't read the comic yet) will just triple that audience easily. I'm following the guy on twitter, and he is very happy to see his work do so well. I wanna get to that point...I wanna see my ideas become books and maybe my books become movies.

I related to the movie a lot for the sheer fact that, Scott and Ramona's relationship seemed kinda like me and Brittany when we actually were still talking. Brittany is kinda like Ramona unsure of what she wants, Scott's a little more open than I am, but he has his silly awkward moments that I tend to have. *shrugg*

but enough of that, the reality of life now is that most things for me aren't going very uphill it's a very plateau-y and there's no signs of change. I need a new job, but to find one now and that pays well is a task, and I'm kinda afraid to do anything that's on the line of "professional" because everything I've ever done has been an "attempt" or for fun. Even now, my job is just a thing I do to get paid. I don't take it any more serious than I have to, and yet some people there act like it's there life's calling, not to mention the customers are more stupid than ever.

I wanna go back to college, a four year school...maybe build up my art skills and make some connections, but I feel like even that will be a waste of money. I can learn to draw better from here...at home, which I'm never at...because of work. Up until now life was easy. You get up, go to school...come home do hw...normal stuff, or get up, and go to work. Where do I go from here....I guess I should save money...maybe one day I can at least do something interesting with it.

Being shy also is holding me back, after seeing that movie..I'm just remembering back in 11th/ beginning of 12th grade where I wanted to act. I get pre-performance jitters but once I'm actually on stage I do pretty well. I don't know.... I'm rambling on because LIFE ITSELF IS BORING, I could party everyday...and hang out and do whatever the fuck I want forever...and I think it'd still be boring, there's a piece of me out there that I need to find to make everyday worth living.

Everytime I feel like, if I was more normal, I'd probably find someone. I realize I don't want a girl who I have to pretend to be someone else around. If they can't except me for who I am, then I don't need them. Though it does suck seeing everyone else dating, even if it's not perfect. Hopefully one day that'll change....

Dear No one in particular,

                Please make the weekend come quicker..
                                                                                    Thanks, Sincerly, you're number 1 fan
                                                                                                                                                        -Jay


once the weekend is here, i'll be minutes away from the best like 2 weeks ever =D hopefully =), don't wanna think too much about it...but for now needing some sleep

"He was a boy
she was a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
He was a punk
she did ballet
What more can I say?
He wanted her
shed never tell
secretly she wanted him as well

But all of her friends
stuck up their nose
they had a problem with his baggy clothes

He was a skater boy
she said see you later boy
he wasnt good enough for her
She had a pretty face
but her head was up in space

she needed to come back down to earth "  "Skater Boi"-Avril Lavigne

I was just sitting here...thinking when this song came to mind, and how it almost if not perfectly seems to fit how I'm feeling....she's hardly on my mind anymore except at night.....because she'd usually be the last person i'd speak to at night...but  it's her lost...

Day 2: Your Crush

( Chances are meant to be taken... )

also btw. this was a meme I took from dearxjessy  I forgots to mention that last time..

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

( Day 1's entry )( Day 1's entry )